Stay at Home, Rule the World

A sweet mommy song

2009-12-15T10:19:00.000-08:00

I think it will be a while until we get a new spotlight - I haven't asked anyone lately because I know the holidays are coming up and I don't want to add one more thing on top of people's busy schedules.

That said, if you have a story to tell about your mothering experiences please send me an email: stayathomeruletheworld@gmail.com

Yesterday I watched an old Sesame Street Classic, Don't Eat the Pictures: Sesame Street goes to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. You can watch the whole thing on YouTube. I watched it often as a child and I discovered to my pleasure that it is still a worthwhile show to watch as an adult.

There is a song partway through that I thought I would share. I coudln't find the song in a video by itself, so here is part 6 of 8. The song begins at around 0:50 and ends at 3:38

A Note About Spending Time with Children

2009-12-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

I recently received a recent issue of Parenting Magazine: The Early Years (I've gotten several issues from them, but I didn't sign up for the magazine...weird.) I was very interested in the results a little poll that the editors had posted on their website. The question was something like, "Do you think children would be better off without TV?" To which one mother replied, "No, because then they'd have a cranky mommy on their hands, worn out from 'entertaining' them all day long."

Yeah, because Heaven forbid that you actually spend time with your children. Gomez Addams once said, "Why have children if you're just going to get rid of them?" I think he had a better handle on parenting than most.

I think we all heard about how Disney is offering refunds on Baby Einstein videos because of the realization that, oh, yeah, they don't really boost children's brain power. Study after study has shown that what really helps children in their cognitive development is one-on-one interaction with a parent, and that television, even Baby Einstein, can be harmful to children under two. I would go so far as to say that using your TV to babysit your 9-month-old is like putting controlled substances in his baby bottle. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes let my infant watch TV with me, but I have yet to find anything that captures his interest. Usually he'll look at the screen for a minute or two and then turn back to me and say, "Hey, Mom, this is boring. How come you're looking at THAT and not at ME?"

Where would the world be without Mommies?

2009-11-24T12:47:00.000-08:00

Actually, we're getting a pretty good idea of what the world will look like without Mommies, or without those who are willing to become Mommies, courtesy of this video from the BBC.

In Japan, not many people are having children. The culture does not easily lend itself towards allowing mothers to stay home to care for their children, and it is difficult to even find daycare. As a result, few people decide to become parents. According to the video, Japan's population, in a generation, will be the same as it was in 1955.

The birth rate is also falling in Europe. Some countries, such as France, are experiencing zero population growth, while others, particularly Germany, suffer from population decline.

In generations past, children were considered an asset, especially in rural communities where more children meant more hands to work the family farm. Today, however, is another story. Children mean thousands of dollars in prenatal and maternity care. Prospective parents have to spend a lot of money to buy the necessities, like a car seat, crib, diapers and wipes, etc.

Why the change? According to Lord Sacks, Britain's Cheif Rabbi and a member of the House of Lords, the problem is secularism. Specifically, most people aren't willing to make the sacrifices of "money, attention, time, and emotional energy" that children require. I don't know if I would blame this on secularism, per se. It is true that of my high school friends, only those who are religious have families, no matter what their religion, but I know quite a lot of religious people who don't have families, too.

What do you think?

Edit: factual error and spelling

Spotlight: Melissa D.

2009-11-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

This blog isn't getting updated as often as I mean to update it. Sorry, everyone!

Today's Spotlight is my very good friend Melissa. I think I'll just let her amazing story speak for itself:

I graduated in Communications with an emphasis in Broadcast Journalism. I worked in radio news, I also worked at UVSC as Assistant Director of Women in Technology, mostly doing communications/public relations type things for them including hosting my own internet talk radio show.

Working in the media or communications is a great preparation for being a mom! I've been in environments where you are working under constant deadlines and pressure, and you only have one chance to get it right! After you've learned to live with that kind of stress, it makes those hectic moments as a mommy not seem quite so bad. You know those moments...when your two-year-old has spilled juice all over the floor, you baby has a poop disaster, your husband is calling needing you to pick him up from work because his bike has a flat, and someone's at the door...ALL AT THE SAME TIME! Everybody has had those moments, right? :) In addition to that, I look back on some of things I had to deal with while working and I think...I don't need that in my life again, I'm so happy to be a mom!

Being a mother has always been my dream. While I've had lots of dreams and goals I've pursued, motherhood was always foremost at the top. It was never a big decision to become a stay-at-home mom, it was a dream come true. At the same time I think it's important for mothers to remember that being a stay-at-home mom is a choice we all had to make at one point or another. Others outside of our realm might like to say, 'oh, you couldn't find anything better to do so you kind of of just ended up at home.' No, that is not the case! I am a talented, bright, ambitious woman and there are many things and causes I could devote my energy and talents to. Instead I choose to be a mom and to be a stay-at-home mom because nobody can be a mommy to my little boy and little girl like I can. It is a choice and sometimes, especially on rough days, it's a choice I have to make everyday...but it's what I chose to do and I'm going to stick with it no matter what!

I am not wasting my time at all! When I choose to be a mother and bring those little spirits into this world...I am taking on the responsibility of raising them and taking care of them. Somebody has to raise those kids...who better for the job than their mother? And we've all heard it before, I'm not just staying at home, I am raising and teaching our future generation so they can go out and make their influence on the world as well.

Some of my favorite things about having kids are those little moments...those moments that just happen with your children that you can't plan. Seeing my little boy giggle at grasshoppers hopping as we walk down the road, and then seeing him try to hop like them. Watching my little girl smile and laugh as her brother dances in front of her. And also just being able to be a kid again and see the world through their eyes...it makes the simplest things in life so exciting.

I think some of the most challenging parts about being a mom are the mundane things that have to be done over and over again. The dishes, the laundry, the cleaning, the dressing, the bathing, the cooking...they have to be done over and over again every single day and they really aren't that exciting and it feels like when you finally finish them they all have to be done again! When you are really tired or worn out you just have to make yourself do those things to keep the house running. It can be tough sometimes. Also, is the limited interaction and stimulating conversation. I love to talk, and to talk things out. And while I don't mind talking with my two-year-old, sometimes I wouldn't mind taking it up a notch and discussing politics or current events etc. That's why it's important to still have good friendships and get out with other women every once in awhile.

Again the most rewarding parts of staying at home are those little moments. Seeing them roll over, walk, talk etc for the first time. Seeing the things that make them laugh, the funny things they do...and not having to miss out on a second of it.

I don't know that I would say I have had any regrets overall. But I would say that I have had moments. I remember this one time when my little boy (my first baby) was sick. I was a new mom, he was only about 3 or 4 months old. It had been a long day, and a long night before. I was tired. I was holding him on the couch while he was sleeping and watching the local news, and suddenly I saw a girl I went to school with there reporting a news story. She did a good job, and she looked so sharp and put together...especially when compared to myself. I had been lucky to get a shower that day, my hair was pulled back in a ponytail...and I had spit up and baby tylenol stains on my shirt. For a second I thought, oh man look at her, she's this successful reporter and I'm just sitting here on the couch watching TV! But then I thought of how sick my little guy had been and I remembered thinking, but I'm here taking care of my baby. I don't want any one else taking care of him, I'm his mommy, I'm the best person for the job! Sometimes I do have those moments wondering, 'what I could have been', but then I realize that I am happy right where I'm at, I'm following my dreams and doing a job that nobody else can do but me.

Advice for a new mom...welcome to mommyhood! And don't be so hard on yourself. Us women are really good at being hard on ourselves and thinking that we always fall short...especially when it comes to being a mom. The truth is your are your kids mom and nobody else is...you know what's best, and you are probably doing a much better job than you think you are! We all figure out how to be a mommy and navigate this world in our own special way, so trust in yourself and the choices you make for you and your family...because nobody can be a mother to your family like you can.

I think every mom makes sacrifices! I've been out with a back injury the last month or so...most likely it came from having my baby! We sacrifice our bodies, our time, our energy, sometimes our health, our everything! and all the things that maybe 'we could be doing' instead of being a mom. But it is so worth it! Every time I hold my sleeping baby, or watch my little boy playing I am reminded of that. There is more to life than racking up our list of accomplishments, and having children brings a depth to your life it is really hard to get any other way. They have helped me learn how to be more patient, more loving, more flexible, and unselfish. And in return I get unconditional love.

Other interests include running, writing, music, and spending time with family and friends.

I have always been one to try and live my life to the fullest...no matter what stage I've been at. There's a time and a season for everything...right now my season is being a mother to young children and I'm going to live it up and enjoy this part of my life to it's fullest extent. Because I know there will be a time I will look back and miss it!

Spotlight: Natasha C.

2009-10-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

Natasha is the proud mother of 2 1/2 boys. (The third one is still "under development"). She has been a world traveler and has spent time in Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, and New Zealand and possibly some other countries that I don't know about. She has been at home with her children for four years.

She says:

Nothing makes me feel closer to my savior then to see my children and they way they are and who they are. Your day [as a stay-at-home Mom] can be very hectic, and sometimes ~if you let them~ things from the outside world can be a factor in how you react to certain situations. I think lots of prayers and meditation is a must, especially since your "me" time is very limited. The most rewarding part is being able to be there for my children 24/7.

There are days (like most at-home parents) where I wish the housework would take care of itself or that I could get out by myself for a while. But then I hear them laugh or ask me for a hug, and it all goes away.

I dont feel like ive made any sacrifices. Motherhood is certainly a gift from our heavenly father, I feel very blessed to have two healthy beautiful boys (and one more coming soon). I try to remember there are people out there who have lost their children or have not been able to have their own. I'm very blessed to not have to know that heartache. I'm very blessed to be at home, there are some mothers that need to work and I can't imagine how hard that must be for them. I try not to take this blessing for granted. I'm the only mom they have I need to treat them like the gifts from God that they are.

Spotlight: Talyn Wong

2009-09-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Talyn is an old friend of mine from college. She has a degree in Elementary Education and taught 4th and 6th grade before her daughter Alena was born. She is currently expecting. H:re's what she has to say about her life as a mom:

I have on occasion come across people who feel that I'm wasting my college degree. Yes. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from a great university, and yes I LOVED my job, and had some natural ability leading me to believe that with a few more years of practice I could be really good at it. Not to mention that my chosen field of elementary education is one with a high degree of influence on the next generation. We need good teachers. We need lots of them. So I guess I can sort of see where people were coming from when they felt I was giving up my influence and my potential. Sort of. But the truth is, that no matter how good a teacher I was destined to become, there are others that can do it just as well, not to mention the many who can and are doing it better. On the other hand, NO ONE can be a better mother to my children than I can. That's just the way a mother's love works. No one can love my children the way I do, or can sacrifice for them the way I can with no regrets. There seems to be a big misunderstanding in the world that women who choose to stay at home do so because for some reason they believe they can't do other things. It's not true. I stay at home in spite of the belief that I could make a big difference in the world, and enjoy doing it, because I know that I can't possibly make a biggger difference that I will be making by staying at home.

Talyn's cherished memories of her adventures in mommying can be found here.

Just a Mom?

2009-09-22T09:31:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent me this the other day. It has been floating around the internet for so long that the original author is unknown. Enjoy!

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ...?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom."
"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it," Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." "What is your occupation?" she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in mid-air and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month-old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make Grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" And Great Grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?" I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants."

The Manifesto

2009-09-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Or: Bascially interviewing myself.

Hello, dear readers! Welcome to my new blog, Stay at Home, Rule the World. Its purpose is to showcase moms (and maybe some dads) who stay at home with their kids. I call it "rule the world" because for one thing it sounds cool. Also the plain and simple truth is that the children that we raise today will be the leaders of our world in a generation, so while we personally may not ever make into the Oval Office, some kid being read to on his mommy's lap will. We are those laps!!

I came up with the idea after listening to a whole bunch of news radio last week. On the various programs they interviewed a whole bunch of women, ranging from researchers to politicians to scientists. I thought, "I wish someone would interview ME on the radio..." but I'm "just" a stay-at-home-mom. You don't get points for being "regular." I thought, "Well, that's absurd!" The truth is that stay-at-home-moms are the unsung heros of our nation. We nurture the next generation and it is a LOT of work! We are on-call 24-7 with midnight feedings, making sure our children are bathed and clothed and healthy and happy. It's an important job, too, because if we don't do it, who will? The day care center? If you want to have a next generation somebody has to make the kids and then socialize them properly, right? Lots of women do it, and lots of women have made sacrifices to do it. Everyone will probably admit that it is a necessary job, but I don't see anyone going out of their way to sing the praises of all those "regular" people out there.

When people ask me what I do, I answer truthfully, "I'm a stay-at-home mom." Sometimes the response I get really rankles me. Mothering is not considered meaningful work in The World today. The stereotype is that if you're a mom, then you must not be intelligent enough to earn a living and any kids you have are consequences of your mistakes. If you're a mom, you must be kind of boring, what with reading Dr. Suess and wiping boogers off things all day. "Oh. So you're just a mom, huh? That's....cool." Yes. It is, actually. My son is 3 months old (so yeah, I am kind of new at this) and staying home with him is probably the best thing ever. And yes, I have a Bachelor's degree, and in Middle Eastern Studies, no less. I'm not staying at home with the baby because I can't do anything else, I'm staying at home with the baby because I think it's important work and because I don't think a daycare center can provide the same level of nurturance that I can. If I wanted to, I could work in Washington, goshdarnit!! I work at home, instead, because when I nurse my son I know I'm giving him the best nutrition. I work at home because when I get him out of his crib at 7:30 in the morning, he knows who I am and gets really excited because MOM is here! I work at home because I believe the nurturing I give him now will help him when he is a teenager trying to navigate all the garbage in the world today.

So what I want now is to hear from all the other Stay-At-Home-Moms out there. We are underappreciated, but what we do is so important. Send me an email at stayathomeruletheworld@gmail.com and tell me about yourself. What made you decide to stay at home to raise your kids? Was it a difficult decision or something that you always have felt was important? Tell us about some of your most cherished memories that spring from your mothering experience. What do you like the best about staying home? What is the most challenging? Whether you got married right out of high school or had to quit your high-earning salaried job or whatever, drop us a line!